The Myth of Eros and Psyche: A Transference Tale

According to Greek mythology, Psyche was an extremely beautiful mortal woman – the youngest of three sisters born to royalty. Although she was worshipped for her beauty, she was only loved from afar and unfortunately found no suitors for marriage. Her parents consulted the Oracle and were told to leave Psyche on a cliff to await a monstrous husband. Parents gave in to divine will rather than human compassion. Psyche passively accepted her fate and went along with the horrible plan. She was, however, rescued by the west wind and lifted away from the cliff as per Eros’ request. Eros secretly married Psyche but did not want her to know who he really was. Therefore, Eros only visited her during the night.

Now, Psyche’s early experiences of being envied by others, isolated, offered to a ‘monster’ by her parents, shaped her expectations of love. Psyche’s curiosity and fear triumphed over the agreement with her husband. So, one night as Eros was sleeping, she held a lamp to see his face. Having been accidentally burned by the oil, Eros awoke and fled. When Psyche lit the lamp, fearful of seeing a monster, she projected her past fears of betrayal and abandonment on to him. This act breaks the trust between them. It’s very much like how a client’s transference (e.g., expecting rejection from the therapist based on past wounds) can challenge the therapeutic bond. Eros flees, and Psyche goes through tremendous trials to reunite with Eros, reflecting the hard work of therapy – facing fears, integrating shadow aspects, and building a more authentic connection.  

As counselors, we constantly witness how the past echoes into the present moment. A key phenomenon that drives this is called ‘transference’. Transference is the process in which the client projects feelings, expectations or patterns from past relationships, onto the therapist. It is not a ‘mistake’ but a window into the client’s inner world revealing how past relationships have influenced their present relational dynamics. An essential feature of psychoanalysis is recognizing that a person’s relationship patterns will show up in the therapy relationship also. The therapist must be able to identify the transference in order to understand and rework the issue. For example, Psyche’s projections onto Eros could be explored with curiosity, not judgment. A therapist (when he has identified the transference) might ask, “What does it feel like to believe I’ll betray you, as others have?” By holding space for these feelings, we help clients like Psyche see how past relationships color their present, paving the way for healing.

Why This Matters for Counselors

Transference is inevitable. It is an ever-present, intrinsic part of human interaction. It is not something to “fix” but to understand and work with constructively. It is also insightful in allowing the therapist to help the client recognize and modify maladaptive relational patterns by exploring how these manifest in the therapeutic relationship.

Tips

• Observe the Transference: Notice when a client’s reactions seem disproportionate or tied to past figures. Are they casting you as a savior, critic, or something else?
• Reflect on Countertransference: Your own feelings can reveal clues about the client’s projections. Feeling idealized or dismissed? That’s valuable data!
• Use Empathy and Curiosity: Like the little ants, the green reed, the eagle and the talking tower guiding Psyche through the four trials to get to Eros, help clients explore their projections with compassion, not confrontation.

By working with transference, we don’t just resolve symptoms—we help clients rewrite their relational stories, much like Psyche’s journey from fear to love with Eros.